We voted! We made it through the week! I said to Jeff after we voted a day early on Monday, “I know as a church we are going to all vote in different ways, and that is totally fine and good. But I hope we all act with grace and kindness AFTER the results come. That’s what I care about too.” May we be people of grace, and have grace for one another.
This morning’s passage is one that continues in the same vein as all of the book of Ephesians has been: how we relate to one another and to God. It is one of those chapters that can honestly be quoted back at me for being a woman in the pulpit, but I’m fairly certain that this passage is more fully about Christ’s compassion and how much he loves us, male and female. Let’s read together our passage and then we will digest it together. Let’s read Ephesians 5:21-6:9.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for it is right. “Honor your father and mother” - which is the first commandment with a promise - “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.
And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.
This is the word of the Lord, thanks be to God.
In our women’s bible study, we have been reading through passages, especially in the Old Testament, but some in the New, and working on distinguishing between what are things that are time-bound practices and what are timeless principles. The second half of our passage this morning was one we looked a couple weeks ago - the relationship between the slave and the master. Scripture is the Word of God - it is good, it is the way to understand Christ, and, in some places, it can feel a little sticky. So what do we mean by time-bound practices and timeless principles? Time-bound practices are things that are in scripture that relate specifically to that time in history, and do not need to be carried forward into our time. For example, in Deuteronomy 22:8 it says, “when you build a new house, you shall make a parapet for your roof, that you may not bring the guilt of blood upon your house, if anyone should fall on to it.” I look around our homes in Fairview, and I really can’t think of a single house that has a roof where people can walk and possibly fall off, and therefore need a parapet (or railing) to go around the roof. But this is scripture! Shouldn’t regardless of what our roofs are shaped like, shouldn’t we have parapets to be faithful to scripture? No. We can understand that some things that were written in scripture were written for that time. That is a time-bound practice. That being said, Deuteronomy 22:8 does not get discarded because it does not pertain to today. The timeless principle behind the verse is that the houses in that time did used to have flat roofs, and so it was public safety and care for people to have parapets or railings on the roof. You were not caring for your neighbor if you just let people come up to your roof and did not provide safety measures. The timeless principle is that in all things, care for your neighbor and those who surround you. Make sense?
How do we wade through our passage this morning distinguishing between time-bound practices and timeless principles? Because there are a lot of verses in this section of scripture that have caused a lot of pain. Slavery was okayed by the church because of these passages for many many years. Women were pushed down, children were disciplined too harshly. What can be left to that time, and what do we pull forward for principles to live by until eternity?
Husbands and wives. Let’s look at those first sections a second. You cannot have one without the other. Wives, yes, we listen to our husbands - we don’t go out and make decisions without healthy conversations with our spouses. This should happen naturally anyway. We honor, care, respect, love, cherish the one that God has given us. That is half the coin. And husbands, love your wife the way Christ loves the church. Do not put her down, make her feel inferior, less than, or worthless. Be gracious and compassionate, kind and loving. Could we not say the same thing either way around? Husbands - honor, care, respect, love and cherish the one that God has given you. Wives - love your husband as Christ loves the church. Do not put him down, make him feel inferior, less than, or worthless. Both husband and wife, be gracious and compassionate, kind and loving. If we read these verses and see that the fruit of the Spirit lie RIGHT behind the verse, then we don’t get wrapped up in the submission and odd words.
If we look at the historical context of the people Paul was talking to, marriage was not lived this way. Love, respect, cherishing were not embedded into their understanding of what a marriage looked like. And sometimes today that is also true. Instead, Paul is asking the body of Christ then and the body of Christ today to strive to love your spouse more than you do your own self. Listen, hold, and be kind. If you find yourself in a relationship where you do NOT feel those things from your spouse, or where you are told that you are the only one in the tango to do those things, please know that is not what marriage is supposed to look like, and ask for help. The body of Christ can walk alongside a couple into a healthy marriage if the body of Christ is healthy herself.
Secondly, Paul speaks to both children and parents. Sure, he says in 6:4, that “fathers” should not exasperate their children, but moms, we shouldn’t do this either. Along with children obeying our parents, parents - we aren’t supposed to harp on our children, harming them with our attitudes or actions. The relationship goes both ways once again. Children should obey their parents, listening and loving. And parents should love as we care and teach. Again, the relationship is not about OBEY and ADMONISH, but the timeless principles are that no matter how old we are, we have more to learn from those who are older than us. And the older we become, the more we are to care and help those of younger generations. Love, cherishing, and compassion are once again right below the surface.
Finally, slave and master. This passage is one that we feel like we can throw to the wayside. But just like our parapet passage, we can glean Christ’s loving truth from these verses too. So what are the timeless principles we can find in this section that apply to our very lives today? When we work for another person - whether it be in a cooperation, a school, or even as members of consistory caring for the rest of congregation, we should serve wholeheartedly, as verse seven says. Whether you are slave or free - whether you are working to get paid or in a volunteer position, serve as if you are serving the Lord, for he is the one who watches even when no one else is. And those who are in authority positions at work or in the world somewhere, treat those who look up to you “the same way” - serve them wholeheartedly. “Since you know that the one who is both [the worker’s boss] and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.” As my dad says, we all put our pants on the same way in the morning, and we are all in need a Savior no matter how much power or what position in the world we have. Whether you are the taxi driver or the CEO, you are dead in sin without the love of Christ. So show that love to every person you encounter, no matter their position in life.
The timeless principles in this passage are rampant. All over the place we see, just below the surface, the fruit of the Spirit (joy, peace, patience, kindness, love, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control) and the two greatest commandments Christ gave us - Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. God gives these words to Paul as ones to only increase our love for others - if we are using them to put down others or justify neglect and hardship, we are getting it wrong.
These verses are super applicable to our lives today. Some of the people listed here today may have gone on to live with Jesus already, but it is very likely that we still have a child, parent, spouse, or co-worker still around. And we all have those around us in the pews. How can we lift one another up? Care for one another and see each of us as the bride of Christ - the one whom he came to save? Dwell on these things this week, the week after another election. I loved how after the election, when I was pursuing facebook, I did not see a single snarky comment on there from our congregation members. We could have, and I’m sure there were some hard words said at some dinner tables. But in the public, we acted out the way we have been reading scripture - we are striving to continue to live into the calling we have received in our salvation as Ephesians 4 says. These verses only continue to give us better clues as to how we live that way with those closest to us. Love your husband. Love your wife. Love your children. Love your friends. Love your co-workers. Be imitators of Christ, dearly beloved children.
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